


Cross to Bear

by ArisenFromNightmares



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Poor Life Choices, Rating May Change, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27059761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisenFromNightmares/pseuds/ArisenFromNightmares
Summary: Follow-up to Absolution.This is the story of someone whose life peaked early, their talents gone to rot. In-between having to deal with family problems, a rambunctious furry buddy, and a bathroom that's seemingly never available, they reflect on the people in their life who left some kind of imprint on them while trying to figure out what the next step in life is.
Comments: 1





	Cross to Bear

As I awakened from my weird ass dream where I stuck my younger self like a bloated side of beef, I stare at the ceiling and wonder if I was really going to just move past this like I said I would.

“ _It’s crap like this that makes me GLAD I have insomnia, between this and the wonky ass zombie dreams, I swear it’s like the very concept of sleep is out to kill me at this point!”_

I groan and look at my phone’s clock, surprised that it wasn’t past noon yet and breathing a sigh of relief. One small goal accomplished as I struggle to sit up and make my way to the porcelain throne to start my day.

At least I would, before I find the door inconveniently in my face and annoying mainstream music blasting from the other side.

“Damn you fat fuck! You do this every goddamn morning!” Whatever answer he had in response was smothered by the start of another well-known “mumble rap” song, which meant my morning constitutional would have to wait. “How the fuck can this day get any worse?”

You would think I’d know better than to tempt fate at this point in my life.

I look down at my phone and see a message waiting for me in my usual messenger app, it was from “her”. And like clockwork, my stomach drops, and my heartbeat picks up as I read the message carefully.

“ _It’s not that simple for me, I’m timid and it’s not easy for me to approach women.”_ The irony that this statement was coming from someone with a good right hook and bragged about keeping a Makarov on her hip was enough to make me cringe. “ _Besides, you’re charming. You certainly must have some stellar pick-up lines I could borrow?”_

I feel that familiar eye twitch that usually proceeds something awful happening, and because I still needed my damn cell phone to function in society.

“BITCH!!!” I grab the chair that sat in front of the computer desk and fling that wooden fucker as hard as I can, not caring about the noise that was made, or that my brother’s dog, an overly energetic terrier mix, ran away from me faster than he would whenever someone says “treat.” “Yeah, fuck you too buddy.”

It was bad enough that I had to be deprived of my morning shit, but to have my ex (who recently described herself as “genderfluid, aromantic, and gayer than a fish.”) come to me for advice on how to pick up chicks- when she knows damn well how **I** feel about her was enough to make me punch another hole in my bedroom wall.

“Just use my bathroom, it’s too early for you to be acting like a bitch.”

I rolled my eyes as I turned back to see my second-oldest brother trying to calm down his frightened pooch, unlike my other sibling who thought nothing of himself and was basically freeloading. (despite claiming to be looking for another job, after having been fired from his most recent one for attendance issues.) Brother #2 was a hardworking member of society, working tech support for one of the major conglomerates in the country although you’d never guess that from how often we have to juggle the bills from month to month.

“That’s not what this is about, and you know it, how long are you gonna let him loaf around this time? Because lord knows a whole year of freeloading did fucking wonders for us the last time he got canned.” He would look back at me with a knowing gaze, the bags around his eyes were becoming more noticeable due to the long hours he was working to keep our humble home afloat. “I mean I get that he’s family, but even you have your limits.”

“Yeah, but **his** name is on the lease. I don’t suppose you’ve found some legal way to boot him out of the house, after all you have that fancy legal degree.” He would stand up and usher the dog to the safety of his room before looking back at me, a somewhat blunt look on his face that seemed to echo some unresolved tension between us. “Wait that’s right, you DON’T have that law degree. Because you choked on getting it, just like you choke on everything else.”

/Low blow bro, low blow.

I decided to get dressed and head out for the day, ignoring the constant buzzing of my phone as social media was the last thing on my mind. After pulling on a pair of faded jeans that had seen better day, and a battered shirt that used to be a _Rocko’s Modern Life_ design I take my Switch out of the dock and toss it in my backpack before looking back at the bathroom door.

“Guess I can’t brush my damn teeth either.” I mumble before popping a couple breath mints and tucking in my wallet in my pocket and leaving the house, it’s hot as balls outside, but when you live in the desert like I do, the concept of seasons are as foreign as abstinence is to a horny teenager. “Man, this day’s gonna suck.” I ignore the groan of my stomach, no doubt protesting my decision to skip my usual routine, even if it wasn’t by choice.

“Hey, since you’re headed out, you mind picking up some stuff for dinner tonight. I’m making tacos.” It felt like I was being bribed with my favorite food after he had so brutally zinged me earlier, but even bitter fucks like me get hungry. I give him the laziest thumbs up I could before I walk off to the bus stop, not surprised to hear excited barking as I left. “I’ll just text you what we need then.”

* * * * *

I hate the fact that I never learned how to drive, because public transportation is a pain in the ass.

I calmly pay my meager fare and plop down on the least occupied side of the bus that I could find and pulled out the Switch, booting up _Smash Bros. Ultimate_ and beating the piss out of Daisy for most of the ride.

She was the closest fighter in appearance to my ex, and I was feeling downright petty.

“ _My life was fine before she came back, it may not have been perfect, but it was mine.”_ I cracked a smile as Daisy was sent flying thanks to Fem Byleth’s Final Smash, although a vibration in my pocket quickly snapped me back to reality as I put my Switch into Sleep Mode and back in my backpack before looking at my phone’s screen once again.

Even when I’m out, I’m never truly left alone.

The first message was just a small list of things my brother needed for his special chili and got off at the next stop, deciding that the nearby Wal-Mart would be good enough to get what I needed- and maybe even a snack if I felt like it.

“ _Have you given any thought to my offer?”_ Of course she wasn’t about to give up on hunting me down, it was bad enough that she had wormed into my Twitter DM’s and had sweet-talked me into letting my guard down and letting her back into my life. “ _It’s $10 an hour, and I know you’re perfect for this sort of thing. You always did enjoy sorting and filing after all.”_

Leaving her on Read was best for my sanity as I entered the store and grabbed a shopping cart, I wasn’t planning on making a long shopping run but Wal-Mart has a funny way of making you seem like you need more than what you actually came in for.

“Onions, tomatoes, cilantro, jalapeños….” I make sure to double-check the list before making my way down the produce aisle and grabbing whatever looked the freshest, maneuvering my cart around a mother who was yapping away on her phone and not wrangling her kids. “God help me if I ever have sex, I’m damn sure not going in raw.”

I keep making my way through the list, making sure to pick up a stress ball for my amusement before making my way to the register and paying for the stuff I bought before glancing at the McDonald’s built into the store and shrugging.

Meh, ten-piece McNuggets. That counts as a snack, right?

* * * * *

The ride home was largely more of the same: Leaving my ex on Read while whaling on Daisy out of spite, it wasn’t her fault, she just happened to look like the person currently trying to upend my life.

I wonder if she has a mole near her hip that you could only see when she’s naked, certainly was a wonderful surprise when my ex sent that pic way back when.

“Hmph, I’m sure whatever chick she’s with now is getting a good view of everything.” I pull the yellow cord when I see my stop coming up, sighing as I loathe the process of going home but I was jonesing for those tacos dammit. “The things I do for a good meal…”

Luckily, the sun was setting by now and the heat wasn’t too bad, the neighborhood dogs followed me most of the way back. It’s something that I’ve gotten used to since I started leaving home more often.

“Have you even been looking for a job?!” It was rare to come home to my brothers arguing but given the subject as the freeloader seemed to be finally being given the riot act. Which would be fucking awesome if it hadn’t already happened before.

Several times as a matter of fact.

“I got the stuff you wanted.” I calmly set the grocery bag down on the table just in time for the dog to come running up to me for attention, it was amazing how fast he forgot about the chair incident from earlier. “Yeah I got something for you too buddy.”

He would bark excitedly as I reached into the bag and pulled out a small bag of beef jerky, tearing off a strip for my furry pal to snack on.

Because he loved his people food.

“I have been looking, it’s just that no one’s hiring right now.” I kept quiet as I desperately wanted to be snippy and call him a fucking liar, but there were other opportunities to be a dick. “I even looked on Amazon like you told me too, and they’re not hiring!”

I quickly tore off another strip of jerky and shoved it in my mouth before I said something stupid, slinking off to my room in order to put my Switch back in the dock before it keeled over and died.

This argument always ends the same: Fat-ass always promises to try harder while the responsible one gives a half-hearted threat of giving him das boot.

“You know buddy, you’ve got it good.” I lay on my bed, lazily tossing him more jerky pieces and staring at my ceiling before feeling my phone vibrate once again.

“ _I really think you’d be a good fit for this job, give it some thought okay?”_

I groaned as I looked at the message on my screen, the girl I remembered wasn’t nearly this persistent.

“What’s bugging you, you haven’t really done much to be stressed about.” My brother would set the plate of tacos down on my closed laptop before giving me a sorta dirty look. “I’ve had to deal with customers- one of which I’m sure is trying to commit fraud- not to mention this noisy little guy.”

In that moment I wanted to toss my damn phone at him and tell him where to stick it, but it seemed clear that an argument was the last thing he needed.

“My ex-girlfriend offered me a job, and I’m just not sure I wanna take it.” I sit up and attend to the pizza, even as my brother picked up the dog and carried him like a child. “I mean, do you think you could work with YOUR ex?”

My brother would look at me like I had just started speaking gibberish before giving the dog a kiss on the nose. “Can’t you be professional about this?”

I frown in thought, remembering the girl I used to know: The one who I could spend four hours on a phone with talking about our lives together and future plans, comparing her to the lesbian, Makarov-toting she-nom that had made her way back into my life.

“Not with this one. She has a way of getting into my head that puts psychologists to shame.” I looked down at my feet in shame, expecting him to tell me to suck it up. “Seriously, there were times I was prepared to tell her off at the start of a conversation. Then by the time we’re done, I’m eating out her hand like some lap dog.”

My brother would sigh, no doubt seeing how much this situation was stressing me out.

“Don’t take the job, you shouldn’t work with someone who makes you feel like you’re a puppet.” It certainly was the answer I was hoping for, but that meant we were still juggling money problems. “We’ll get through this; we both know that I can do what we need to do to survive.”

He would walk off, carrying his furry baby with him as I start eating the tacos, sighing happily at the familiar zing of the chili and wondering if I was really doing good with my life.


End file.
